Why can’t orphans be gay? Because they have no closet to come out of.
Worst Jokes Ever
I'm bored. Anybody wanna chat?
What's the difference between a redhead and an orangutan?
Some people adopt orangutans.
My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.
“Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”
I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.
I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.
Who's Joe?
Joe Mama sucks my fat nuts, bitch!
What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.
Myla, what did you do for Father's Day?
Myla: I went to a restaurant.
Timmy, what did you do for Father's Day?
Timmy: I went to a concert.
Olivia, what did you do for Father's Day?
Olivia: Talked to him through an ouija board.
I saw a poor man and I gave him money, and he said, "Nope, I don't need money." So I gave him money, and he punched me for no reason.
Why is an orphan gay? Because they can call somebody "daddy."
Me: U know the show called Imagine Dragons?
Friends: No, what is it?
Me: Imagine dragon this nuts across yo mouth.
Oh, Mom, there is poop in the toilet still.
Mom: Oh, that was me and the dog.
Me: Wait, what????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Me: I want a PS5.
Dad: Alright, I will say no.
I went up to the depressed kid and said, "I like ya cuts G!"
What is Armin Meiwes' ideal date? Dinner.
Just cut my thumb open with a knife (not a joke).
How come I have a father but not a dad?
He was a priest.
Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?
Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.
Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.
What is brown and sticky?
The leftovers of the iceberg.
What begins in F and ends in UCK?
Fire truck.
