I like trains.
*train hits him*
Worst Jokes Ever
Shit.
Chimichanga.
What is it called when corn stalks have a baby?
The cream of the crop.
Me after Taco Bell: Go to: [link to image of broken toilet]
Yo mama's so fat, her pad is a king-size mattress.
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
I have so many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
What is the good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in school zones.
What has four legs and one arm? A Doderman in a playground.
My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.
Normal people have a four-head, but bro... you got a fourteen-head.
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
Sister: I don't want to do it, but...
Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.
"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."
"Why not?"
"He keeps peeing in the pool."
"Well, all kids pee in the pool."
"Not from the diving board!"
Q: What do Olympians make bad DJs?
A: They keep breaking records!
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
