This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir.
Me: What? Am I dying?
Doctor: No, your wife is.
My peepee was big, now it's small.
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.
Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?
Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
What is the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
Charger: Yo, Phone.
Phone: Yeah?
Charger: Can I plug all in you?
Phone: Ayooo!
My wife and I watched The Perfect Murder together. Excellent movie, but what disturbed me though was my wife constantly taking notes.
I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.
The twin towers: No, it won't.
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.
Why don't orphans play GTA?
Because they're sad they don't get wanted!
Why did the kid drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
No one is smart. I am smart.
HAIKU JOKE:
Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.
