Worst Jokes Ever
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
What do you call a selfie taken by an orphan?
A family portrait.
"Among Us, Among Us, Among Us, Among Us, Among Us."
So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
What is a king's favorite sized candy? King-sized candy!
Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!
What's a smart person's favorite candy? Nerds! :D
What does a cloud wear in a storm?
Thunderwear.
What kind of fish do people eat?
Deep-fried fish.
How do cookies 🍪 give three cheers?
Chip, chip, hooray!
Who can jump the highest?
Emo kids, some are still in the air.
Is George gay...? Stephen Hawking approves.
Who did the bee 🐝 marry?
Her honey!
What did the glove say to his girlfriend?
I glove you!
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?