Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What do you call an emo business? A: A cutting board.
People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.
"Knock, knock."
"Orphan: Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
Why was the emo mad?
The picture got hung, not her.
I tried to name my grass "emo" so it will cut itself.
Why does the emo hate Christmas?
The ornaments get hanged, and they don't.
Am I doing my work? Because typing this took lots of work.
Have you seen my uncle?
Jesus: I have.
God: Me too.
You're so ugly the densest told you to lay face down.
What's America's best class?
Gun 101.
My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.
Why can't toilet paper cross the road? Because the toilet paper got stuck in a crack. 🤣🤣🤣
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d*ck reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well, no sir." And grandpa said then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said, "Let me get a hit of that," and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d*ck reach your a**?" and Johnny said no again. And then papaw was shootin' his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d*ck reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d*ck reach your a**?" and papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f*ck yourself 'cause you ain't gettin' none of my ice cream!"
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.
What is humble, holy, and helps?
An angle...
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
My name is Shelly Bobby... I don't know my last name.
In America, mom births you.
In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
I'll never forget my grampa's last words, "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"