How do ghosts cry?
Boo hoo.
How do demons cry?
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Worst Jokes Ever
What is half of nine?
"ni"
What do you call someone with a big butt?
The Thightanic!
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
How does an emo greet people?
“What’s down?”
Why were the Twin Towers upset? Because they ordered pepperoni, yet plane arrived!!!
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Spider-Man, because it told them there was no way home.
Knock knock... Who's there? It's Jesus, let me in... Why? I have to save you... From what? From what I'm gonna do to you if you don't let me in.
What does one emo kid say to the other?
"I like your cuts, G."
I wasn't cut out for running today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
What did the orphan say to the adopter?
Nothing, he just stared.
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
Jack and Jill went up the hill each with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with $2.50 and Jack came down smiling.
Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
My sister 🤣😂
What do cannibals read?
People.
Digest Readers.
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.
