Worst Jokes Ever

Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.

Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.

Yo momma so fat, she farts out volcanoes.

I meant because.

Why doesn't the orphan's phone have a homepage, being it doesn't have a home?

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.

Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They told her to go find the light.

So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.

Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."

Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?

'Cause they just wash up onshore.

What kind of tree can you High-Five?

A palm tree.

Person 1: Somebody farted.

Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.

How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?

I think they just hacked the "chrime."

What’s an emo called Anna?

Want to hear a joke about prostitution?

Never mind, it's whoreable :)

Your hairline is so far back you ain't got a fo'head, you got a five head!

Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?

To get to the dark side.

Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!

My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.

Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)