Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims of course, they went through 89 stories in only 5 minutes!
9 Jokes
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.
That one really *crashed and burned*.
What do 9/11 and COVID-19 have in common?
I couldn't give a fuck about either.
Ever heard the saying white people can’t jump??
Well, I think that’s total bullshit. You should have seen us on 9/11!
Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.
9/11 pilots are the best readers.
They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 9 because my basement is still dark.
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
Why was ten scared? Because it was between 9/11.
9/11 was a round of Clash of Clans; they knocked down 2 towers, not 3.
I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.
My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.
Question: Why was "6" scared?
Answer: Because "7" ate "9"!
I'd tell a 9/11 joke, but it would crash and burn.
"Lord of the Rings" is about a group of white Americans taking nine hours to return jewelry.
I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project, but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed.
The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"
The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
But why did 7 eat 9?
'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D
