9 jokes

Letter

Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.

Victim

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

The 9/11 victims. They went through 200 stories.

Memes

Baby

Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.

Plane

There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.

Victim

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims of course, they went through 89 stories in only 5 minutes!

9/11

If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

That one really *crashed and burned*.

People

Ever heard the saying white people can’t jump??

Well, I think that’s total bullshit. You should have seen us on 9/11!

Pilot

9/11 pilots are the best readers.

They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.

Baby

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

More than 9 because my basement is still dark.

9/11

A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."