9 jokes

My grandpa died in 9/11.

He was the best pilot.

My dad was a great pilot...

He died in 9/11.

There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims of course, they went through 89 stories in only 5 minutes!

Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.

What do 9/11 and COVID-19 have in common?

I couldn't give a fuck about either.

If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

That one really *crashed and burned*.

Ever heard the saying white people can’t jump??

Well, I think that’s total bullshit. You should have seen us on 9/11!

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

More than 9 because my basement is still dark.

9/11 pilots are the best readers.

They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.

How many guns can an octopus hold?

9

A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."

I was going to make a 9/11 joke, but I'm afraid it will crash and burn.

9/11 was a round of Clash of Clans; they knocked down 2 towers, not 3.

"Lord of the Rings" is about a group of white Americans taking nine hours to return jewelry.

What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43?

Floor 44.

My uncle died in 9/11. He was a pilot.

What is the difference between the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Twin Towers? The Tower of Pisa is more flexible.

Why was 10 scared? Because 9/11.

Why were the victims of 9/11 so mad?

Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.