9 jokes

Lady

A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said, “Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.”

The lady asks, “Am I pregnant?” To which the Doctor replied, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

Jenga

A kid in the back of the class just yelled “Jenga!”

The class was watching a 9/11 documentary.

Insult

1, 2 look at your shoes.

3, 4 they look better than yours.

5, 6 you have no friends.

7, 8 you look like a ape.

9, 10 don't you like men?

11, 12 hell naw I like females.

Memes

Plane

Me and my friend were cranking 90s in Fortnite, then our other friend joined, started flying a plane. We died like all the people in 9/11.

Female

What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?

A sexy female.

Head

I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.

Scarecrow

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

9/11

What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?

They're both inside jobs.

Sister

My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"

Date

Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.