9 jokes

I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."

My father was a great pilot. He died on 9/11.

Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."

Why is 10 afraid?

Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.

Why was 10 scared?

Because 9/11 came flying in.

Biden: My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said, "That's a pretty big word for a 9-year-old!"

Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*

9/11:

When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?

2001/9/11.

Why was 9 afraid of 20?

Because 28, 29.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Must be more than 9, my basement is still dark!

How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?

Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"

My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."

My uncle died in 9/11. He was in the plane that crashed in the field.

I would make a 9/11 joke, but it just wouldn't land.

9/11, 911, same thing.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9!!!

Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.

Where did Tanner go during the 9/11 terrorist attack?

Everywhere.