9 jokes

I don't really understand 9/11 jokes, but they eventually hit me like a plane.

Did you know that..

Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.

Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.

You learn something new every day.

Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.

6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9.

Why was 10 scared?

Because it's in the middle of 9/11!

Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.

In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.

I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.

Why was 10 afraid?

He was in the middle of 9/11.

Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

Friend B: "I was until last night."

Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

Friend B: "Your sister."

Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?

A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.

Who are the fastest readers?

The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.

Why was 10 scared?

Because 9/11 came flying in.

Biden: My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said, "That's a pretty big word for a 9-year-old!"

Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*

9/11:

When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?

2001/9/11.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Must be more than 9, my basement is still dark!

Why was 9 afraid of 20?

Because 28, 29.

How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?

Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"