9 jokes

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Must be more than 9, my basement is still dark!

Why was 9 afraid of 20?

Because 28, 29.

How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?

Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"

My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."

What does 9 and 36 add up to?

A life in prison.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9!!!

Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.

What makes all these categories so familiar? Either you've experienced them, or made them up in your backstory.

Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.

9/11, 911, same thing.

My uncle died in 9/11. He was in the plane that crashed in the field.

I would make a 9/11 joke, but it just wouldn't land.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

Who is the fastest reader? The 9/11 victims, because they went through 20 stories.

Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."

What could've the Towers done to not start 9/11?

Call 911.

Where did Tanner go during the 9/11 terrorist attack?

Everywhere.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

I usually don't make 9/11 jokes, but they just are fire.

I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8