11 jokes
It's a tower.
No, it's a plane.
Me: Nope, it's 9/11.
9/11
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
This kid yelled "Jenga" when we were watching a 9/11 documentary.
Memes
9/11, am I right?
9/11
This is so sad, can we hit 50 likes?!
My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"
Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.
My grandpa died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot.
What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?
Party crashers.
My dad was a great pilot...
He died in 9/11.
You know I would tell you a 9/11 joke, but it just doesn’t hit the spot.
I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.
A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"
And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"
I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."
My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"
What's 9 divided by 11?
Well, I know it's less than two alright!