Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
Yourself Jokes
I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
A letter to all Math:
Dear Math,
Grow up and solve your own problems!
2x6= DO IT YOURSELF!!!!
Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.
"Do you want to hear a joke?"
"Yes."
"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"
If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.
What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?
A: Go kill yourself!
"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."
You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔
Show yourself.
Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.
What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourself!
Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.
Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.
Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.
Amber: Fine!!!!!
Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!
"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."
Love y'all so much!
You're so short that you build a tiny house for yourself.
Go fuck yourself!
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
