Yourself jokes

If the noose breaks, stab yourself!

If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!

If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"

Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.

Have you ever had duck sausage? No? How about you duck on down and get yourself some!

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."

Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.

Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.

David: I will surpass Kakarot!

Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*

A letter to all Math:

Dear Math,

Grow up and solve your own problems!

2x6= DO IT YOURSELF!!!!

I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.

If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.

Show yourself.

What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?

A: Go kill yourself!

"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."

You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔

Go fuck yourself!

Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!

"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."

Love y'all so much!

Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.

Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.

Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.

Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.

Amber: Fine!!!!!

What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?

Go fuck yourself!