Yourself jokes
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
What did the emo say to the popular kid?
"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."
Have you ever had duck sausage? No? How about you duck on down and get yourself some!
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
Ah yes Google vs Bing
I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.
A letter to all Math:
Dear Math,
Grow up and solve your own problems!
2x6= DO IT YOURSELF!!!!
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!
"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."
Love y'all so much!
You're so short that you build a tiny house for yourself.
What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?
A: Go kill yourself!
"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."
You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔
Show yourself.
If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.
Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.
Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.
Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.
Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.
Amber: Fine!!!!!
What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourself!