Yours jokes
Your mom, bro! XD Roasted! Lmfaoooooooooo!
You’re so lame, you don’t have a superpower!
"Yah, I do!"
Oh yeah? What is it?
"My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand!"
That’s breathing, Jim.
"NO IT’S NOT, JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!"
How many cats are in the human body?
None, unless you're Asian.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.
Your AMAMA.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.
This guy goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m a wigwam, no, I think I’m a teepee, no, I must be a wigwam, no, a teepee.”
The doctor tells him, “I think I understand your problem. You’re two tents.”
Yo, Rob, you forgot to pay me cause you sucky sucky my thang.
AKA, you're up for adoption.
Rob, you forgot to pay me for letting you sucky sucky on my thang.
AKA you're for sale.
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
Evan, me and your mom are done with you.
Your mom gay, Evan.
Mom hot.
Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says, "I have some good news and bad news."
So the patient says, "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies, "I have had to amputate both your legs." So the patient says, "Well, what is the good news?" The Doctor replies, "I have found someone to buy your slippers."
If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."
If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?
When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.