Yours jokes

Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?

See if these nuts fit in your mouth.

Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!

The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!

Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.

Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.

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  • 1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.

    2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.

    3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.

    4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

    5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

    6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

    7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.

    8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.

    9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.

    10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?

    11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.

    12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.

  • 1
  • You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

    You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

    You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.

    I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

    Mrs. Kadie, I heard about this Mr. Beast video about veggie burgers. I hope that you didn't trick me again.

    Mr. Beast: Today we're gonna be eating a hot tender burger.

    Mrs. Kadie: OMG he didn't say vegan!

    Viewers: HAHAHA we tricked you!

    Mrs. Kadie: That's it Mr. Beast, we're gonna pour blood on your face!

    Mr. Beast & Chandler: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1!