Yeah jokes
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
Everyone, if I am not online, that is because I am on a vacation, so yeah.
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
Memes
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
Guy 1: P-gay or T-gay?
Guy 2: P-gay sounds cooler.
Guy 1: Yeah me too. I don't like P-ewDiePie, always love T-series.
Guy 2: Omg what did i just say? I wasn't even knowing what were you talking about :<
Guy 1: Like I do care :$
Guy 3: But I do care :<
Guy 1: F*ck you.
Guy 3: Do it.
Guy 2: But you do care about me.
Guy 3: No.
Guy 2: F*ck you.
Guy 3: Do it.
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."
"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"
One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?
Exactly, cuz she's a woman.