A man and a child walk into a forest. The kid says "um sir its getting dark and i'm getting kinda scared". The man says "yeah well think how I feel I have to walk back out alone.
911 what's your emergency burning in toaster toast? yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast set fir to my forest
Roses are red, violets are blue; blood’s thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags I asked if he was an orphan he said “Yeah what gave me away” I said his parents
So a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist. “What seems to be the problem?” The therapist asked. “Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” They said. So the therapist replies, “oh dear, that must be a problem.” “Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open and the light is really bright.”
An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal." The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
me:*gives her 5 dollars* climb that flag pole cute female:*takes the money and goes up the flag pole* is this good me:hell yeah thats a nice veiw *next day* heres 10 dollars if u do it again *she goes up there* me:hows the veiw *she goes home and her mom sees the money* her mom:where u getting this money her daughter:i climbed a flagpole her mom:you know he just want u to to see ur panties right *she goes back and does it again but doesnt wear panties* me:holy shit ;-; her mom:did u do it again her daughter:dont worry mom he didnt get to see my panties her mom:...
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Do you like Wendy’s? Yeah Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth
Steven Hawking walks into a bar... Yeah.
(Not Original Joke)
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
*at school* nobody:do u want nuts me: wait u have some nobody: yeah their my own me: :0
"Hey, man do you have any ben and jerry's?"
"yeah I have two of them fresh and preserved in the freezer"
"I meant the ice cream bro..."
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
Ever heard of the band 'Nothing but thieves'? Yeah, it's called RobberBand.
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta a way. Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was a in-pasta
Me : “You guys wanna know a cool fact?” Friend 1 : “Yeah” Friend 2 : “Yea” Me : “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.” Friend 3 : “I love anime.” Friend 1 & 2 : “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Me : *Laughs at Friend 3*
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
