Xmas jokes

Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?

A: He saw the ornaments hanging.

Little Johnny woke up at midnight on Christmas Eve to Santa with his pants down on top of his mom. He then said, "Ho ho OH YEAH!!!"

You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!

What do orphans get at Xmas?

Lonely.

What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.

Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.

The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"

He grabs a noose.

Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?

Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.

Why is Santa's sack so big?

He only comes once a year.

What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...