World jokes

My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!

*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*

"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"

When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.

Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.

Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?

Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.

What is the fastest cake in the world?

Scone.

My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"

"Islam it is."

Vote Biden or Trump, I like neither, but I want to know what the world would say. (Don't judge other people.)

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

WORLDWIDE RAP: Takin’ a Battery Park tour in Calgary, a Mali rapport and a factory in Lahore in an Annapolis store, Calgary's core, went to Nairobi’s floor and visited Valerie Moore, then bought some Shanghai decor and got salaries in Seoul’s war, studied the Vatican’s lore, wanted to see Manhattan’s allure and visit the Galilee shore to check Napoli’s score, a tragedy in Warsaw, Palmyra before, check out the cavalry corps, went to a Bali resort, a Madrid encore but had to take a Hackney detour.

Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂

There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.

*World War 2 going on and then stops.*

Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."

Who knows? Maybe the end of the world will be made in China too.

A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied:

"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"

The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.

I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.

Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?

Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, it ends world hunger.

What did the World Trade Center order from Domino's Pizza?

They ordered two large planes.

What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many stories.