World jokes

If I were an object in this world, I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping, I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I'm a star! Because one of these days, I'm going to crash and burn...

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die, I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.

If I was a food, I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature, I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it's dried up, shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I'm like the moon because as the month progresses, my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I'm like an extremely powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I'm like a shitty book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce, and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape, but the more they try, the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety.

Help me....

Loud Korea noise.

Vote Biden or Trump, I like neither, but I want to know what the world would say. (Don't judge other people.)

Q: What is the difference between Americans and Africans? A: Some of them have food, and some of them don't have food.

My pp was in the Guinness World Record book.

The librarian then asked me to take it out.

Steel led to World War 2.

What is the fastest cake in the world?

Scone.

What is the smallest room in the world?

A mushroom.

Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.

They took him to PC World for repairs.

Where do you think all the orphans went?

In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.

There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.

What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?

Put the diapers back on.

Make a wish.

Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.

Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!

Yo mama so ugly, it made the world stop spinning.

How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.

What are the 2 fights Africa could never win?

A food fight and a water fight!

What two fights can Africa never win?

A food fight and a water fight.

Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.

Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.

Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?

What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?

They both fall in September.

What does the "W" stand for in Africa?

Water. Too bad there's no "W" in Africa.