Newest Workplace Jokes - Page 2

I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

I GOT a job as a pencil sharpener I would tell you about it but you wouldn't get the point.

I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere

Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry 🧺 jokes?

Because they always come out clean.

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”

So you get a new job, and here something about this guy named mike, The next day you go into the office and mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and Rainbows and stuff, then, a co-worker comes up and says "No one told you mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY *clap clap clap clap*".

A wife and husband had been on a strict diet and the wife said yaknow weve been good about our diet lets have a cheat night tonight. The wife came home with kfc and wendys. the husband came home with sylvia from the office.