"Actions speak louder than words."
This doesn't apply to Stephen Hawking, however...
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
Stupid.
Aaron.
YEET YEET YEET YEET YEEET EYYYETETETYETEYETYETTEYTEYTEY EYYEYETYETYETYETYETYETEYEYEYEYEYTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
How many YEETS are there?
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks confused and says, "Oh really? You have a drink named 'Bob'??"
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
Hey Autocorrect- STOP TAMPERING WITH MY CURSE WORDS YOU MOTHERDUCKING FORKLIFT!
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."
In the words of Kerk Cobane: "Check this sweet no scope!"
There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.
The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"
The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."
The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
