There were three men in a car, the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes the to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer". The homeless man says"I'm not really homeless" and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, i'm a cop''
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now
Why did sellwood git named? It is made of wood that got sold.
A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!" Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"
when is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone
2 hunter are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and and hunter #1 dials 911. Operator: "911 what's your emergency?" Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods fell asleep." Operator: "Check if he's / she's (not assuming genders) dead." *Operator hears a distant gunshot* Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says "I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
"was lost in the woods yesterday,"
"i was in some sticky situation..."
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
Glad to present you wood clock https://olegon.ru/clock/
a lumberjack goes to a person ́s house then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf
three indans get captured by an enemy leader and the leaders says "go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind.The first one comes back with apples.The enemy leader says "shove them up your butt and don't make a sound or i will kill you.He get to two and yell.The leader killed him.He goes up to heaven.The second guy come back and has grapes he gets to 9 and laughes.The leader kills him.He goes to heavenThe first guy askes the second guy why did you laugh you had it in the bag.The second guy said he say the third guy carring pineapples.
Can I branch out to some tree puns. Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on
a boy walks into some woods with a phone and his friend comes by and asks what are you doing? the pauses then says trying some bird calls!
A man takes a boy into the woods boy says Boy: Mister I’m scared and it’s dark and cold The Man: How do you think I feel I’m walking out here alone
What does a stick say when it falls down- Wood you help me up
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur and the rabbit says no So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark? I was really rooting to tell that one
