If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark? I was really rooting to tell that one
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
What's the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn't cry when I break it's legs
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
I killed a Wood elf yesterday. The gaurd charged me with...mer-der
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
What’s your favorite type of wood? Mine is Bollywood
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wouldn't whistle, so I bought a steel whistle. But it still wouldn't whistle. So I bought a lead whistle, but it still wouldn't lead me to whistle.
I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite. They just need to leaf people a lone or stick with something nicer
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
i rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick and i was like that log had a child.
People are like trees... They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe
how does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
How do trees get online? -- They just log in.
