Why can't Chinese do anything? The government won't let them.
Wont Jokes
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Why Should I Walk? By Iona Carr.
What Lonely Girls Should Do By Seymour Fellowes.
Unusual Window Decorations By Rod Curtains.
The Long Walk Home By Misty Bus.
Race to the Outhouse By Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont.
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.
Elephants never forget.
Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.
Sister: No, I won't stop.
Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.
Sister: What? You will see when I post it.
Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?
Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
Police: *Arrests me*
My ex's love for me :(
I still love the dude sadly, but I won't take him back.
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
I won't ever forget my dad's last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"
A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.
She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.
Once I sucked my mum's titties. Most adopted people won't know about that.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
Just too bitter.
