I've never been to Bradford before until today. While driving through the city center with my dad I asked, "Would you set up a business here?", to which he responded "No".
So I asked "Why not, you'd make us rich!", He gave me a confused face and asked, "How so?".
So I said, "Because sales would be fucking booming!"
I know, it's an awful joke.
My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."
Once a monkey lived in a jamun tree. His friend, a crocodile, came there to eat jamun everyday. The second day, he ate some jamun and left some for his wife. Soon, his wife said, "Why don't you kill this monkey?"
The crocodile was sad and then asked the monkey to come to his place. The monkey said, "What if I drown?" The crocodile said, "Jump on my back." The monkey jumped on his back. The crocodile soon said, "I am gonna kill you. My wife is sick and wants to eat your heart." The monkey said, "I left my heart on the jamun tree." Then the crocodile swam back to the jamun tree and the monkey jumped on the tree.
Why did the penguin pull out a tooth? It was Mexican.
Why don't orphans call...
Because they can't call home.
Why did two 4s skip dinner? Because they already ate.
Why don’t orphans have phones?? Because their parents can’t buy them one.
Why can't orphans go to a five-star hotel?
Why don't orphans like Russia and Germany?
Because it's the Mother and Father Land.
Why does my brother have no mom?
Why is Viagra just like Disneyland?
It's a 1 hour wait for a 5 minute ride.
Why are fat people fat? Because they eat like Indians eating curry, except fat people eat many more portions.
Why can't orphans have family time?
They don't have a family.
Why is your forehead so shiny? Did somebody laminate you? You're so shiny, Mulan can look into your forehead and sing "Reflection."
Why did the amogus act sus? He was an amogus! hahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha
Why can’t orphans drink? Because they don’t have any money.
Why was the fanny flat?
So it can flop about.
Why did the sheep die? Cos he wasn’t pretty enough.
If Uranus was a dick, then why do they make Uranus?
Why do squirrels love dick?
Because it produces nut.
