Why jokes
If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
Why do people say "cheese" when they are taking a photo?
Because they were using the computer and thought about it.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
Why can orphans convert to Catholicism? Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home. 😢
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: ______
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
Why can’t Jesus eat M&Ms? They keep falling through his hands.
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
Why couldn't the orphan go into the restaurant?
It was family friendly.
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.
Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.
Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school.
The teacher asked why he had one. He said, "I need it to beat up the principal!"
When the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well, let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.
Inmate 1: Why are you in prison?
Inmate 2: I killed 4 people and robbed someone, what about you?
Inmate 1: I blew up a school bus.
Inmate 2: OMG, you demon! Were they autistic?
Inmate 1: No, they were Fortnite kids.
Inmate 2 (who is Muslim): Halelouia, we have found the messiah!
Why are dolphins so smart?
Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!