Why jokes
Why can't Jordan moan?
Because his parents are in the room next to him. Asleep.
Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.
Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?
Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
If nine is a number, then why on Earth is not "ja" a number?
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the other contraction they know.
#1: What are you doing?
#2: Watching a movie.
#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.
Why are Bengalis so fishy?
Because the fish ate them on a daily basis.
Why is the skeleton sad and alone?
Because he is with nobody.
Why was Timmy sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.
Why did ranch tell fridge to close the door?
He was dressing.
Why is the Rubik’s cube record holder always American?
Because Americans are really good at separating colors.
Why do you think China should have a baseball team?
They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?
The Cheerio Joke
Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was based on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty Cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted Cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your Cheerio which is the Chocolate Cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines.
So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut Cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular Cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty Cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty Cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes.
The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there wasn't a punch line."
Why did the guy take a bath? Because he came, and it was too much of a mess.
Why do Asians don’t wear contacts? Cause they can’t fitt.
I fucked your mom, that's why I've been paying your life support since you were born.