Why did Jimmy throw the clock out the window? Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who knife-raped his wife.
Why Jokes
Why did Texas freeze to death? Because they're retarded.
Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey?
Because proper tea is theft.
Why is calculus called calc? Because you need a calculator. Lol.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get ran over by a truck.
Why did the cow go to space?
To get ice cream!
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't; it got stuck in a crack.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the douchebag's house.
Knock knock.
(It's the octopus.)
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the street?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
One day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER!" the guy said. So the duck walked away.
The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha
How do you know if a comedian is high?
Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.
Why is Sean's fashion so poor? He's retarded!
Jack and Jill went up the hill, both had Bacardi rum. When Jill's was gone, she wanted Jack's, that's why she took it from him.
Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?
No more tears.
Why do mountains go to sleep a lot?
Because they are high.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To get to the curry shop.
Why were the Indians telling the others to chop off their noses when they got close to 12 inches?
Because then it would be a foot. LOL! I may have peed myself.
Why do orphans cry so much?
They can’t find a place to go.
You know why Hitler wouldn’t drink whisky? Because it made him angry.
