Why jokes

Parachute

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.

Chef

Why did the short person become a chef?

Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!

Drink

Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?

Because they heard the drinks were on the house!

Bomber

Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?

Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈

Abuse

Why did the African child wake up suddenly? Because he was being sexually abused.

Sonic

Why was Sonic fast?

To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.

Africa

Why is there no medication in Africa?

Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."

Autism

Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?

They’re jealous that autism can speak.

(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).

Goy

Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?

He [is a] goy.

Orphan

Why can't the orphan take a family photo?

Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.

Bartender

Why can’t Homer Simpson bring his family into Moe’s Tavern?

Because there’s a bartender in there.

Pronoun

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.

Rabbit

Little Johnny attends school regularly and often brings a box of sultanas as a gift to his favorite teacher.

One morning Little Johnny attends class without a box of sultanas.

The teacher enquires, why Johnny "where is my box of sultanas?"

Johnny replied, "Sorry, miss, my rabbit died."

Rule

Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.

Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?

Kid: I don't know.

Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.

Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.

*Officer arrests Elmo*

Elmo: But who wants tickles?

Name

Hello, are you there?

Yes, who are you?

My name is Watt.

What’s your name?

Watt’s my name.

Yes, what is your name?

My name is John Watt.

John What?

Yes, are you Jones?

No, I’m Knott.

Will you tell me your name?

Will Knott.

Why not?

My name is Knott.

Not what?

Not Watt, Knott!

*hangs up*