Why jokes
Why was there a box in a church? Because there was a funeral.
Why can’t orphans get in trouble?
Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.
Why was the orphan so bad at baseball?
He couldn't find home.
Why was the calf afraid?
Because she was a cow-herd.
Why do orphans love having sex?
Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock?
Because it’s a little meteor.
A priest is drowning in a river. A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that God will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God said, "I sent you three f***ing boats and you didn't take them!"
Why do cheetahs never get an A+ on a test? They always cheetah!
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Cause it's a family company.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell?
Because there is a stairway to heaven.
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.
One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"
The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."
Why go across the street when you can just go down the hall, lol?
Why does Trump build a wall?
There’s such a thing as a ladder.
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead.
The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."
Why did Mrs. Henderson get a divorce from her husband, Harry?
She was tired of everyone calling the family "Hairy" and the Hendersons.
Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.