Whole

Whole jokes

Tree

It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.

Most foresters have a wooden personality.

Doctor

A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.

The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”

“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”

“Ten,” says the doctor.

“What, years? Months?!”

“Nine...”

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.

Mansion

Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?

Almost took out the whole trailer park.

Wheelchair

Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐

Jesus

Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?

Priest: Why?

Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.

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  • Blonde

    Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.

    The brunette brings canteens of water.

    The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.

    The blonde somehow rips off the car door.

    The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"

    To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."

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  • Trampoline

    I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.

    Black Hole

    Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈

    Eye

    An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...

    ...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.

    Side

    What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"

    Asian

    Why are all Asians so skinny?

    Because last time there was a fat man a whole population disappeared.

    Gwen

    Hate me all you want, but I gotta say, this whole thing with Gwen and TJ is ridiculous.

    Mama

    Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

    Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.

    Genocide

    If you hit a child, that's child abuse.

    If you hit a family member, that's abuse.

    If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.

    If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.