When jokes
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.
If you are a bully at a school, when you get home, find an orphan and beat them up!
What are they going to do? Tell the orphan lady to tell you to stop? 😆😝
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
You got the whole crowd of people laughing when looking at you.
That face needing some laughing pills.
What happens when you work in the Twin Towers? It connects to airplane WiFi.
How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?
Butter.
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..
They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.
I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.
Today, I dreamt about giving head to Johnny Depp.
Then I woke up and realized that I forgot to roll my windows up when passing through the New Jersey Turnpike.
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.
When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.