When jokes
What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?
"Face the wall!"
If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?
A doggone catastrophe!
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
Why does an orphan cry when we say "ur mom?"
Because they have no mom.
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Olgh..."
This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."
What do emos do when they meet up?
They hang out.
What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."