What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
Whats Jokes
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”
What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!
What do you call a chubby Robert Pattinson? The Fatman.
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
What did the shell say to the shell?
"Shell you later."
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
What went through the heads of the people on the 142nd floor during 9/11?
The 143rd floor.
What do you call a red potato?
A tomato. 🍅
(I know it's cringe!)
What's the difference between you and a calendar?
Calendars got dates.
What do you call Moby Dick's dad?
Papa Boner.
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
What hurts the most? 😹
A. Breaking up before chewing.
B. Breaking up after chewing.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Correctly spelled.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.