Whats Jokes

Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.

Joseph: No, they don't.

Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.

Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.

What is one thing humans do before they eat?

They beat their meat to make nuggets.

What did the chicken say after he died? Nothing.

Old soviet joke.

"Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Spider-Man: Homecoming.

Billy: *spits out food*

Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.

Dad: *looks at mom*

Mom: Shut up.

If you get it, you get it.

Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.

This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.

What is one word orphans can't spell?

Family.

What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?

Bubble 007.

What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?

They both erupt when triggered.

What's the difference between a painting and Jesus?

A painting only needs one nail.

What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."

What’s the difference between 69 and High School?

In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.

What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?

White vans.

What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.

What's an orphan's favorite movie? "Going Home."

Vote Biden or Trump, I like neither, but I want to know what the world would say. (Don't judge other people.)

What's the difference between my mum and my dad?

My mum stayed.

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I don’t see what’s coming up, but I don’t know why I am sending, so it will be random or funny or just stupid, LOL. So like and subscribe and...

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.