Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Your Nan.
WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!
Whats Jokes
What's the difference between orphans and dogs?
Dogs get adopted.
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
What do you call a dead hooker?
It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
What first went through Sally’s head when the Nazis came?
A bullet.
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples got picked.
What did the emo say to the popular kid?
"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."
Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"
What's brown and sticky?
An orphan.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite event? Their birthday!
You know what a triangle has that women's rights don't? A point.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
Hey Gwen! What is a bean's specialty? Being a jerk!
