Whats jokes
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Why do people always bully orphans?
'Cause what can they do? Tell their parents?
People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."
Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
What do you call a person with no body or a nose?
Nobody knows.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
What's a deaf kid's favorite words?
"Shut up."
What's the difference between a blind man and a window?
The window can see through itself.
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?
They both need to make sounds to be recognized.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.
Doc: What's wrong with that?
Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.
I replaced "Jingle Bells" with "Jiggle Balls"... "Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way! Oh what fun it is to ride on jiggly balls today!"
What's 1 + 1? For some people, it's 1 #unibrow.
Teacher: “If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?”
Johnny: “A new bike!”
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?” When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good,” and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Savior?” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. “JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!” The Teacher fainted.