Whats jokes
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
What do you call a bunch of retarded preschoolers? Tater tots.
What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
They both have a history of separating colors.
What do monkeys eat for dinner? KFC.
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
What falls first, the emo or the leaf? The leaf. The emo was hanging.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite thing to eat from? The children's menu.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?
One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.
What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What is the sexiest animal alive? The Βυττerfly.
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
What is gayer than man sex ring?
Not slapping the ass at Hooters.
What kills you?
Suicide.
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?
C sharp minor.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
What is a fish without i's?
Fsh.