Whats jokes
What would Martin Luther King be if he was white? Alive.
What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?
Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.
What would an orphan ask for Christmas?
"A someone."
In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
Wanna know what's funny? Scott's low joke standards.
So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
A: To hide up cherry trees.
Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: Giraffes eating cherries.
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?
They are always so distant! :-]
Most annoying thing...
When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
What do you call a sad Doge?
What?
Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!
What is one of the worst but funniest incidents ever: a bullet in a baby in a baggy in a barrel in a bus in a nuclear plant were all of the employee's are molesters?
What was the last thing Stephen Hawking said before he died?
"Windows Shut Down."
What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.
The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"
The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"