Well jokes

How do pirates like their movies?

You already know the answer, don't you?

Well...

ARRR rated! Huh huh huh...

Gwen, hi, this is well, I am not saying, are you a girl? I thought you were a girl, but I could be wrong.

Mummy, how was I born?

Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."

Have you ever been to the ocean? Well, the smokers out there probably only seaweed!

Is it bad to hit an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.

Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?

A. Sunday school!

Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.

Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.

Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!

Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.

Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!

Is your tap water running well?

Beta, go catch it!

If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?

Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.

Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?

Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.

Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.

Teacher: He did not.

Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.

Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.

Suzy: Then you can ask him.

Wanna suck my dick?

No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.

Rot in hell?

More like nasty-ass thot in a well.

I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."

What did the kid say to the orphan?

"Well, at least I have parents!"

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.

I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”

Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.