Newest Welcome Jokes - Page 4

Daughter: So, I got my period. Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying! Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying? Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to the another day. Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically) Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless. Obviously.)

So I was watching YouTube and then my Friend says “Those videos never get old” and I replied “Just like a Make-A-Wish kid” and after I said that he shot me in the head and said “And now neither do you.” And now I’m in heaven and God says to me “Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies and I said “Are there summer women” and now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero. After he killed Hitler

Hi welcome to David’s sperm bank you Jack it we pack it how may I help you?

Welcome to mississippi

Hahaha you have no pp

Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."

1.Your face is so ugly i thought it was deformed it probably was anyways 2.even if donald trump had time to build a wall it was probably so you won't squish us with you fatass. if someone says your face is deformed just say thats what happens when i look at you. welcome

Welcome to ____ pizzeria and abortion clinic where your loss is our sauce

Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make em, we scrape em. No fetus can beat us.

Hi, Welcome to Dave's Orphanage you make them we take them how may I help you?

Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.

Knock Knock Who's There? Tank Tank who? You'er Welcome.

Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic your lose is our sauce!!!!

what worng with airline food...! theier not blakc and there not poeple. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! your'e welcom?

Son: Dad, why did name my sister Paris? Dad: Because she was made there. Son: Thanks, Dad. Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.

When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"

What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate? "Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"

Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!

johnny was watching TV when you hear them say bitch and bastards so he ask hes dad "what is a bitch and bastard." dad say "a bitch is a female and a bastard is a mail." then johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say ass and shit so he ask hes dad what shit and ass means dad says "a shit is shaving creme like what i'm putting on my face and ass is a coat why don't you bug your mom." so johnny goes back to the TV and then they say fuck so johnny ask his mom what fuck means mom says "fuck means carving like doing to the turkey then a few minutes later Johnny hears a knock on the door so he answers it he then says "welcome bitch and bastard may i tack your ass" the people then ask wear hes parents are johnny says "my dad is putting shit on hes face and my mom i fucking the turkey.