Weight

Weight Jokes

Mama

Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"

Kid

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.

Bathroom scale

- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.

- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.

- Oh...that might actually be even easier.

Baby

All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.

Heavier babies are delivered by crane.

Mama

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

Backpack

Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"

Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"

Fat

You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."

Joe mama

Joe mama so fat, she could not walk the stairs of heaven.

Credits: to my friend.

Fat People

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.

Mom

If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.

Friend

My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.

As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.

Mum

Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.

Mama

Yo mama's so skinny that when she walks outside, she floats to Heaven.

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.