Weight jokes
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: "To be continued."
Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.
As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
Yo mama's so skinny that when she walks outside, she floats to Heaven.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."
Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.
All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.
Heavier babies are delivered by crane.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
Joe mama so fat, she could not walk the stairs of heaven.
Credits: to my friend.
Yo mama so fat, she needed cheat codes for Wii Fit!
I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.