Weight jokes

If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.

(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)

- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.

- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.

- Oh...that might actually be even easier.

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: "To be continued."

Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"

What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.

Yo mama's so skinny that when she walks outside, she floats to Heaven.

If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.

You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.

Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"

Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.

Heavier babies are delivered by crane.

Joe mama so fat, she could not walk the stairs of heaven.

Credits: to my friend.

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.

Yo mama so fat, she needed cheat codes for Wii Fit!

My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.

As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.

Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.

Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.

I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.

Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.