Weight jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she landed on the earth, the earth cracked like eggs. LOL.

What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.

What do you call an overweight psychic?

A four chin teller.

Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"

You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

120 pounds.

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.

Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.

Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.

My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.

So I brought her a new bathroom scale.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.

My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.

I told her to keep her chins up.

I keep hearing "Obesity kills."

My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"

What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?

Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.

Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."

Yo mama is so fat that she crushed her PlayStation profile.

You're so fat, that you're fat.

I want your weight, not your phone number.

Yo mamma so fat, when she tried to sit down the chair ran away.