Weight jokes

Yo mama so fat that she's social distancing from herself.

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.

So I brought her a new bathroom scale.

Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.

I yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo, yo-yo yo-yo you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you ha! Frick, fuck, gosh dang, you’re so big that you can’t ride. This is Builder.

Yo mama so fat, Zeus used her as a bowling ball.

Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over, she created the Grand Canyon.

Yo mama is so fat, when she's walking down the street, there are cracks all over the sidewalk.

You're so fat that you broke Thanos's snap!

Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.

Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.

Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.

Yo mama so fat, when she falls, they have to call 999 and a crane to pick her up.

You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.

Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.

My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.

I told her to keep her chins up.

Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.