How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?
If you think the Guy Calling you fat is offensive Try Salad 🥗
Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.
She got mad and ate the bus!
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.
When fat people smash it must feel like a huge submarine hitting u
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!" Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale the scale said I’m trying to get your weight not your phone number
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finallly text her boyfriend ̈ Show me your dick now ́
Yo mama so fat the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone no
if ur fat and transgender, then would you be considered transfat?
your mama so fat that when thanos snapped his finger it only got rid of weight
Why did AlexDaEgg fall down the stairs? Because he is fat.
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?
Slim Shady.
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
