Weight jokes

Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"

You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

120 pounds.

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.

Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.

I want your weight, not your phone number.

You're so fat, that you're fat.

Yo mama so fat, she went to the moon without leaving Earth.

Yo mama so fat that she's social distancing from herself.

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.

So I brought her a new bathroom scale.

Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.

Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over, she created the Grand Canyon.

Yo mama is so fat, when she's walking down the street, there are cracks all over the sidewalk.

You're so fat that you broke Thanos's snap!

Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.

Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.

Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.