Weight jokes
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.
Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."
Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.
Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"
Worst joke Ever: What do you call a fat kom? A FAT MOM! LALALALLA!
Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."
I know 5 fat people, and your mama is 4 of them.
Yo mama so fat that she's social distancing from herself.
Yo mama so fat, she went to the moon without leaving Earth.
Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
Fat teachers be like: "I hope you're paying a ten chin."
You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.
Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.
My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.
🙍🏼♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!
🙇🏼♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*
🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!
Story done. Please like.
Your mama's so fat, when she grew an inch, she pushed the Earth down.
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.