We jokes

When I was in high school, me and my friends would play with this girl who had Down syndrome.

We would get into a circle around her and say, "Nightmare, nightmare!"

I was talking to my old friend. They said, "We should hang out more!"

I said, "You mean we should ketchup?"

Stop ruining the jokes. It's called "worst jokes ever" for a reason. We all feel bad for orphans, but people like dark humor and joke about everyone, so quit being offended, please.

Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:

1. USA was NEVER invaded!

2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!

3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!

4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.

5. We have more allies than you.

6. We are smaller but stronger.

7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!

Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.

Student: My name is Buttitches.

Teacher: Please tell us your real name.

Student: Buttitches.

Teacher: I’m calling the police.

Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.

Student: Buttitches.

Police: *shoots gun.*

A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."

You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?

Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?

You: Uhhhhhhh

Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.

You: Thank God.

Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...

You: *faints*

Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!

We love Russia, we do.

We love Russia, we do.

We love Russia, we do.

Oh, Russia, we love you! 🇷🇺

I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"

We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.

We saved a transvestite in a tight mini skirt from a tree.

I thought I showed a lot of balls.

Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.

Random person: What stuff? 🤨

Me: What?

The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!

Me: Colourful flamingo fart.

I was at my boyfriend's house, and I thought he was cheating on me. He was on the phone with somebody, and he said he'd be over there soon. So I asked him if I could see his phone. He said no, and then we fought about it until I saw his gun, and because I thought he was lying to me, I shot him, went through his phone, and his friend was still on the phone.

Dad, why are we here?

Because you're not loved.

My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."

I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

What do we call a skeleton who has a ton of travels?

A skele-TON!

Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"

Deez nuts, can we get much higher?

Boioioioing boioioioing, my name Jeff.

Arabic Nokia ringtone, bingchungus, wholesome 100, everyone liked that, Keanu Reeves chungus, Ugandan Knuckles, YouTube poop XDDDDDDDDDDDD.