We jokes

I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.

Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, “I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty!”

Shame on you, Pessi!

We were versing year 8 at footy, and they were mostly black, so I told my white friend to WATCH OUT!!!

And together we will make America great again.

You were never great in the first place.

"Can we do 69?"

"How about we do 9/11 since we will crash together?"

There are 10 million million million million million million million million particles in da universe that we can observe.

Yo mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd.

So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"

The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"

Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?

Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??

Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.

"Tj and Prince, I really think we should stop doing this date night, date fight thing on this website because it's driving everyone crazy, and this is a joke website, not a dating website, so I say let's just take this to Facebook."

"Hi Koko, you said we met a few years ago. What is your real name? Lol."

I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:

"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."

....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.

RIP Meh Soul.

"Prince???? Where are you??? I might have to go to bed for real, but I just wish we could talk at night. Why don't we anyway? (I love you so much!)"

"Yo mama so bad we gotta switch to yo papa."

Boss: Can I do a reference check?

Me: I don’t have a...

*sensei appears*

Me: oh no

Sensei: He was a good student, but he lacked kizma.

Boss: What's kiz...

Sensei:😈

Me: Oh no, here we go.

Sensei: Kizma AS-

I was in a terrorist a famous terrorist group. No, not the Taliban. We called ourselves the Talabam.

We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!

What did one angry cow say to another?

We got some beef.

We all know the joke: Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.

But do you know why 9 is scared of 7?

Because you are supposed to eat 3 square meals a day (3 squared).

Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"

My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.

I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

"Can we at least give them one credit—for abiding the traffic laws?"