water's jokes
What was the last thing that went through PH's head?
Water and smoke.
Only Fortnite players will get it.
Where do you get salt water? Salty Springs.
For centuries, Japan’s feudal dictators, called Shoguns, enforced strict laws that kept people from leaving or entering the country. This practice isolated Japan from the rest of the world. By the middle of the 19th century, Japan’s isolationism was creating problems for the United States’ whaling industry whose ships needed coal, food, and water available in Japanese ports. And sailors who were shipwrecked on the coast of Japan needed protection from mistreatment.
In November 1852, President Millard Fillmore sent an expedition to Japan to solve these problems. Led by Commodore Matthew C. Perry, the expedition had both steam-powered and sail-powered warships and several hundred men. Perry’s task was to persuade the Japanese to sign a treaty with the United States that would open Japanese ports and protect shipwrecked sailors. On July 8, 1853, the Perry expedition sailed into Edo Bay about thirty miles from the city of Edo (modern Tokyo).
During talks with the Shogun’s representatives, the idea of a treaty was repeatedly rejected. But Perry didn’t give up. Finally, in February 1854, the Japanese agreed to negotiate a treaty. The Treaty of Kanagawa established peace between the two countries, opened two ports to U.S. shipping, and protected shipwrecked sailors. It was signed on March 31, 1854.
Perry’s expedition also opened Japan to the rest of the world. Within two years, Japan signed similar treaties with Russia, Holland, and Britain.
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
Did you know the "w" in Africa stands for water?
I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.
I fell into a water bed with super soil. Next thing I'm in a flower bed.
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a bath, the water jumped out.
Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.
Knock knock. Who's there? Abajo. Abajo who? I have abajo of water with me.
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.
Take a water bottle, shake it, you got piss.
Astronauts just found water on Mars! Mars: 1. Africa: 0.
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.
Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!
I saw a Down syndrome kid waving at me today, but there's no way I'm swimming all the way over there to save him.
"Eugheugh," said the boy.
What did the water say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
There is no "W" in the word "Africa," just like there is no water.
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
Q: Why doesn't a skeleton mother drink water?
A: Because it gives her more work!