Watch jokes
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"
Time for a Terraria joke.
What is a worm called when it is with a rich worm for his money?
A gold digger.
(play the game or watch some vids to understand)
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.
Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!
Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.
Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.
The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.
Doctor: I will... dad...
Tq for reading my crappy joke.
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill for drunkin' wild sex.
Jack went by Jill to get a lick, and watched Jill get off on a stick.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill.
Jack stopped and said to drunkin' Jill, "To build this still will take so long."
Jill said to Jack, "Well, f--k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill!"
Why don't orphans watch TV?
Because of "Family Guy."
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Parental guidance.
Q: What do you call two nuns watching television?
A: Not very interesting.
Why do cat orphans watch sci-fi movies?
Because they won't understand what the mother ship is.
What do cows like to watch? Moovies.
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."
Yo mama's so poor that she only watches Frozen to hear Elsa sing "Let It Go."
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
Glad to present you a wood clock.
https://olegon.ru/clock/
There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.
They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.
Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.