Warming jokes

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.

The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."

Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."

Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."

Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?

A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

How do you stay warm in a cold room?

You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.

A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.

Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"

"No, I named myself," she answered.

"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"

"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.

‘BJ Titsngolf’

In death, what is the only organ in a woman's body to remain warm?

My dick.

Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.

🤔 What do gay men who are physically handicapped ♿ can do better than a man who is heteroflexible when 🤔 he has another man's 😍 😋 😜 😏 😳 😉 cock inside 😋 of his warm mouth 👄 👄 give a 👍 👍 good blowjob?

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."

What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."

What is the only warm organ in a dead woman?

My dick!

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.

One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.

Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?

Because it was Luke warm.

How do rappers stay warm in the winter?

They drop FIRE TRACKS.

I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.

1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

- A bus full of children.

2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

- He died of a yeast infection.

3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”

4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.