US jokes
Yesterday I got detention because I said to the emo kid, "Come hang with us."
Why can't orphans be kidnapped?
Because most kidnappers use a family van.
"Balls" got me like: š
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
Memes
Why can't orphans use phones? Because they don't know where the home button is.
Most of us have been somewhere Stephen Hawking hasnāt: Upstairs.
Whatās a guy with Touretteās favorite app to use? Tiktok.
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.
My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
Why is LeBron James an orphan?
Because he doesn't use WhatsApp.
Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
What do you call a wizard who uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!
Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.
There used to be two, but now itās just a sensitive topic.
Tazzaro got me like: š
Orphans got me like: š