US Jokes

Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.

Orphan: Where are my parents?

God: New York City.

Orphan: But they used to live in China.

What do you call a wizard who uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!

Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.

There used to be two, but now it’s just a sensitive topic.

Tazzaro got me like: 😂

A screenshot of a tweet. The tweet says: "using my boobs as stress balls."

Orphans got me like: 😂

jokes got me like : 😂 Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org › face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...

My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!

Why is death taken so lightly? It's terrible how people use it! (This is NOT a joke!)

Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.

You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.

What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?

One's a good year and one's a great year.

What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.

What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.

What do us emos all have in common?

Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."