US jokes
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.
My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.
Orphans got me like: 😂
Why can't orphans use phones? Because they don't know where the home button is.
Memes
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
What do you call a wizard who uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
Most of us have been somewhere Stephen Hawking hasn’t: Upstairs.
Yesterday I got detention because I said to the emo kid, "Come hang with us."
Why can't orphans be kidnapped?
Because most kidnappers use a family van.
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
Why is LeBron James an orphan?
Because he doesn't use WhatsApp.
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.
There used to be two, but now it’s just a sensitive topic.
Tazzaro got me like: 😂
jokes got me like : 😂 Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org › face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...
"Balls" got me like: 😂
Why do tryhards use Fennecs? It looks better than the Octane.