United Kingdom

United Kingdom Jokes

Chess

Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.

Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.

  • 8
  • Tea Party

    Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:

    "Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"

    Queen

    Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?

    Queen

    5, 4, 3, 2, 1. A castle weighs a ton. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The Queen of England's won! I never thought she'd get it done, but her sister is a nun.

    Whale

    Me: So you two girls are from England?

    Girls: Wales.

    Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.

    Sun

    Why is the sun red today?

    The sun turned red today. Here's why. As an enormous Atlantic storm batters Ireland, a related phenomenon is turning heads further east over in the United Kingdom. ... Just like the way sunsets are sometimes red, excess particles in the atmosphere can change the color of the sun in the daytime.