United Kingdom jokes

Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.

Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.

Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:

"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Di.

Di who?

See, easily forgotten.

Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?

5, 4, 3, 2, 1. A castle weighs a ton. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The Queen of England's won! I never thought she'd get it done, but her sister is a nun.

Me: So you two girls are from England?

Girls: Wales.

Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.

What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?

You’re breathtaking!

Why does Britain suck at chess?

They lost their queen.

Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.

Your penis is literally BLUE!

Why is the sun red today?

The sun turned red today. Here's why. As an enormous Atlantic storm batters Ireland, a related phenomenon is turning heads further east over in the United Kingdom. ... Just like the way sunsets are sometimes red, excess particles in the atmosphere can change the color of the sun in the daytime.