Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture unfortunately.
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
So unfortunately I got kicked out of the library again because for some reason they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
the emo kid tried to give the tree a high 5 unfortunately the tree left him hanging...
I made a website for orphans, unfortunately it doesn’t have a homepage.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
A father awaits the birth of his first child.
The obstetrician says, "Unfortunately, he has no arms."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
But the obstetrician adds, "It is also without legs, trunk, head."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
Then the obstetrician confessed to him, "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
And the obstetrician says, "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!"
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
Unfortunately, NASCAR has been canceled.
The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring.
One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.
I work at a movie studio.
Unfortunately, the team I was working with was useless.
The team:
I invited my friend with a vasectomy to a party.
Unfortunately, he couldn't come.
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
There once was a commie called Ed. Usually known as Ned. He went to bed, Got shot in the head, Unfortunately now he was dead.
