Underwater jokes
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.
If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine.
I found Nemo.
He was tasty.
Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.